Still here!

To my few, but treasured readers!

I am sorry to have been absent for so long.  There is much to say about our life right now, but sadly, not much new on the adoption front.  To be honest, we sort of hit a stall in our process and are just now coming out of that time.  I could give lots of reasons why this happened, but to summarize, I will just say that I have come to accept that the Lord wanted to do some more work in us before we took further steps.  Not really anything disciplinary (I don't think!), but more refining and preparing and fine-tuning our hearts.  We have made some great strides in family and in our marriage, and are excited to see what God is going to do as we follow Him through open doors!

One big thing that you may remember from my Summer Goal list was that we would eliminate broadcast TV viewing from our home until Christmas.  Well, after a brief adjustment period for our children, we have so enjoyed the freedom and quiet that is now in our home.  We still allow occasional videos (more during the summer than now, thanks to TONS of homework!), but that has been all that any of us have watched for several months now.  We are used to it, and may not even go back at Christmas.  We are thankful for the gift of time that this has afforded (though you wouldn't know it since I have been terrible at writing here!!).

On the homefront, we are about to wrap up our volleyball season here.   Erica is 12 and on the JV Jr. High team.  She is in 7th grade and is really getting the basics of the game.  She is a consistent server, an encouraging teammate, and is learning to handle coaching that sometimes hurts a little!  Alli is in 11th grade and is thrilled to be on the Varsity H.S. team!  She had to really fight for her spot, and is doing so great.  Mark and I love going to as many games as we can--even if we have to drive 3 hours away at 6 in the morning on Saturday to watch an all day tournament!  It has really been hitting me lately that I have only one more volleyball season of Alli's to watch! 

I think part of my feet-dragging that has happened in our adoption process is this feeling that I want to be the best mom I can be to the children that live with me now.  I am afraid of putting so much energy into adoption stuff that I have no reserves left for the kids in my house!  Then, on the flip side, I have immense guilt over the children of ours that are living in an orphanage--or on the street-- and I am compelled to work hard and fast to get them here with us.  I can't win, so I have given it to the Lord, knowing that He knows the timing.  I must do what I can, and then let the guilt and fear and everything else fall away.  Those feelings are not from Him!  He has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power and love and a sound mind.  I am praying to live more fully in that truth.

Since this post is turning out to be a stream of "random" consciousness, I will close with a bit about school this year.  I have a charming and darling class of 17 bright students.  They are amazing, and I can truly say that I enjoy each one.  God saw fit to give me a year that is looking like it will be fairly smooth.  I love getting one of those kinds of classes every now and then!  At this point my biggest challenge is keeping my smarty-pants ones busy, and keeping the talking down!  :-)  Our family has gotten back into the early morning routine, and we are so thankful for our Christian school. 

May your week be blessed, and I will keep everyone posted as things get moving again.  I humbly ask for your continued prayers!

Grandma's Love--Tribute to Meinie

Memories of the times spent with my grandmas are so dear and close to my heart. My mom's mom, who I named "Meinie" when I was old enough to talk, lived close by us all of my growing up years. She was always so happy to have us visit and we visited a lot! My favorite times were the times that I got to spend the night with her and sleep on her hide-a-bed. We would always listen to J. Vernon McGee on the radio and she always followed along in her Bible and took notes. If you haven't heard him before, try to google it and hear him say, "Iss-ry-el". It's classic!

I've been mulling over all my memories with her lately since it appears that her days left on earth are coming to an end. She has remained in good health and has been so mobile and and spry for so long, but she has recently begun to slow way down and then came down with a pretty bad case of shingles. Apparently, it can trigger a multitude of health problems in elderly people--including dementia and sudden problems with different organs and systems. This is what is happening to sweet Meinie. The shingles showed up about 3 weeks ago and she went from walking (slowly, but still walking!) to being stuck in a wheelchair or bed. It's hard to watch--and I am sure it's harder to live through.

****UPDATE****
I stopped writing this post here on March 19, 2010, and am finishing it today, August 5, 2010

Today is the day after losing our beloved Meinie here on earth. While we mourn the loss of her life, we do acknowledge that it is solely our loss, not hers! She is in GLORY with the Lord! She has now seen the splendor of Heaven and knows the fullness of joy. So, if you will allow me a moment to reflect, I am going to use the remainder of this post to remember. To ponder. To reflect and record some of my favorite things about her and some of my most special memories of her.

As mentioned above, I had the joy and privilege of living close by her and her husband Bruce (who was also given such a creative--ha!--name by me: Da). They were both what we would consider involved grandparents. Meinie invited us over often for dinner and let both David and I take turns spending the night. Although he may have a different memory of those times, my turn spending the night always involved the nighttime snack of popcorn, apples and slices of cheese! This was well before the average American household had a VCR, so a movie was never a part of that time. We would talk, laugh, play games, and maybe watch something like Lawrence Welk on TV! When she lived out on Hall Blvd., she would sleep with me out in the living room on her hide-a-bed. After moving to Timberlake Dr., she finally had a guest room, and I would sleep on the hide-a-bed alone. That was okay though, since I was about 8 or so when they moved there. Such fun times we had!

Meinie was also called upon to help out with transportation home from school once my mom went back to teaching. David and I didn't really want to hang out after school till early evening waiting for mom and dad to be ready to go home, so Meinie would come to pick us up and drop us off at our house. We loved the days that she came to get us! Not only did we get to see her and hang out for awhile, but when the car approached the local DQ on the way home, she would almost always stop and let us get a treat! This was AWESOME!

I never remember being bored at her house. She was the kind of grandma who always kept fun things on hand for us to play with. There was the old jewelry box full of costume jewelry that I loved to organize and try on. You had to be careful opening the box so that the latch wouldn't snap your finger! She also had baby dolls and blankets to wrap them in and shoebox beds for them. We loved all the little brain teaser games that were out on the coffee table. There was the crazy magnetic mummy thing--weird! There was the peg game shaped like a red cross with one black peg that you had to try to get into the middle space. There were various dice games and little silver linked shapes that you had to try to get apart. Of course there was a plethora of coloring books and crayons too. When I was about 9 or 10 I went through a stage where I LOVED typing on her OLD typewriter. One time we were visiting, and I decided to type out the whole story of the Poky Little Puppy from a book that she had. I literally copied every word! We must have been visiting for a long time that day, because I remember it taking me FOREVER!

Later in my life, Meinie discovered that I had a passion for reading just like she did. This was a great bond for us. We would talk about books we loved, and she gave me probably about 80% of the books I now own. We both loved historical Christian fiction the best. And she helped me grow to love George MacDonald books that are rich with spiritual truth. My absolute most treasured book from her is the old copy of My Utmost For His Highest that she gave me back in 1989 when I went off to college. Many of you know this book--and if you don't, you should!! Oswald Chambers is the author and his insights into the Word of God are pretty darn close to being inspired. The really precious thing about this copy is that my parents gave it to her in 1968 when Meinie first began her daily walk with the Lord. She underlined sections and wrote notes in the margin. It is sort-of falling apart, but I still read it often and like knowing what parts were speaking to her on those days many years ago.

I think that I derived part of my love for cooking from Meinie too (along with my mom and my Grandma Norrie who also are great cooks!). Meinie's specialty was probably sweet treats (in my opinion!). She became the one who would always make my birthday cake. I was a strange child in that I never liked cake with that yucky, thick buttercream (lard) frosting! I wanted Meinie's German Marble Cake! No frosting, just a delicious vanilla and chocolate marbled pound cake. My poor friends who would come to my birthday parties probably thought that I had bad taste in cake, but she made that cake for me almost every year until she couldn't anymore. (side note--bless you mom and my sweet SIL, Jeweliann, for taking up the cross of making me that difficult cake on my birthday--especially since my birthday falls when everyone is all "baked out" from Christmas!!)

As this post is getting long, I will wrap it up with one more memory. Actually, it isn't really a memory, I guess. When Mark and I went to Vancouver back in April to help pack up her room in her assisted living place, I came across a small journal of hers. I didn't actually take the time to look at it carefully when I found it because we were in "get 'er done" mode, but after we came home from that trip, I took the time to read it through--several times. (I also noticed a small sticker on it that said "for Mary", so I WILL be giving it to you, Mom!) Anyway, she was a mighty prayer warrior! I didn't really know that before. I mean, I knew that she prayed for her family members, but she PRAYED!! If you knew her, your name was probably listed in that book. She began the book in 1989 and wrote off and on in it until 2007. What a treasure it is! She noted all the births of the great grandchildren, she prayed for her pastors, her church, her friends and her family. She shared times of loneliness after Da died. Sadly, I don't think that I ever realized how lonely she was at times. But, she always came around to the blessings that the Lord had given her and she thanked Him profusely.

Here is an excerpt from that journal: Written shortly after Da passed away.

10-27-1994

Today I feel
not wanted
not needed
not loved--
All reminders from the enemy.

I read in the book of Malachi:
"They shall be mine, says the Lord of hosts. On the day that I make them my jewels, and I will spare them as a man spares his own son who serves him."

I'm taking this promise as my own. I belong to the Lord. He calls me one of His jewels. Thank you, dear Lord. Thank you, Jesus.

I don't know what Heaven will be like, but I do know that Jesus will be there and that's all that really matters.

Thank you, Lord Jesus, that we know that You will return to this earth. Show us that we must repent of our sins in order to see You when you come again. Holy Spirit, make us feel disturbed if there is one unconfessed sin left in our life and heart. Thank you, Lord Jesus, that on the cross You bore the sins of the whole world--my sins and the sins of those who are praying now.
Amen

This post has gotten long, and I will be surprised if you have stayed to read this whole thing. But as I close, I am challenged to be the kind of wife, mother, friend, and eventually grandma that leaves this kind of a legacy. I hope that reading some of my memories challenges you to think about how you will be remembered. All that Meinie did and said was wonderful and was a blessing, but the fact that she prayed so faithfully for me and others is the most precious part of who she was. I am so thankful that I come from parents and grandparents who pray for me and my family, but yesterday I lost one of my prayer warriors.

Today I pray, "I thank my God whenever I remember you" Philip. 1:3. Heavenly Father, thank you for blessing me with Meinie! She is Yours and her tender, loving, merciful heart was such a blessing to all who knew her. Heaven gained a treasure yesterday!