Thursday, April 15, 2010

Still

Still. This word has two meanings to us right now. It is an adverb that describes the verb "waiting." As in, "We are still waiting to see where God directs us for our next step in our adoption process." We don't quite know yet what we should be doing as Haiti is trying to figure out what the new, revamped process will be. However, we do have confirmation that adoption is, in fact, open in Haiti and the U.S. is also willing to process applications. This is GREAT news! Remember how my last post said that we both felt like something big was about to happen? Well, it did! The very next day after writing that post God began to move. We received confirmation emails regarding Haiti being open again for adoption and a big prayer regarding an issue with Mark's business was answered in a huge way. This was something that we had been praying about for about 4 months.

Still. The other meaning is a state of being. We need to be still right now as we wait on and rest in God--trusting that He has our BEST in His mind. He knows what we need and He is so good to give His children good gifts. "Be still and know that I Am God." This is His Word to us. I am reminding myself very frequently that my job right now is to rest in Him and trust Him and His timing. I know that I probably sound like a broken record, but this is where I am in my learning and growing process.

In the meantime, please pray for Haiti. There is so much suffering, and I'm sure that I only know of a tiny bit of the true suffering. Families are living in patched together "shelters" made out of sheets and tarps. The rains have come and there is no basic sanitation and very little food. Babies and the elderly are sick. People are cold and wet all night and hot and humid all day. The billions of dollars of aid need to get to the people. Pray and help if you can.

Here is the latest post from the Livesay's blog (I don't know these people, by the way, I just found their blog a few months ago....)



"This is a photo of a family. A beautiful, strong family.

A mother, a father, and five of their six children.

The oldest son is 24 and has gone to school. He is their hope for a better future.

When he comes home from school he will join his mom and dad and brothers and sisters in a "home" with "walls" made of sheets and a "roof" made of woven banana leaves.

They might be able to cook some rice for dinner. They don't eat dinner every night. They need to be careful about their food and charcoal supply. If tonight is a night to cook, to eat, they will step outside of their "home" and cook in a large pot over charcoal just outside their front "door". If their neighbors need food, they will share.

When the sun begins to go down they will whisper to one another by candle light as they lie on thin mats placed on top of the rocks. Throughout the night the rain will fall and the sheets will be blown by the wind. They will move things around to try to avoid the steams of water that run through, under, and around their meager belongings. As hard as they try, they will not rest, they will not sleep.

The sun will rise, a new day will come, and they will survive another day."

We truly have so very much. Thank you, Lord. Please comfort Haiti tonight...

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Alive

I am alive, people. Sorry that I have been absent for so long. I knew this would happen, even though I wished that it wouldn't. I really am amazed by all the blog writers that I follow. How in the world do they have such busy lives, yet find the time to post almost daily?? It's inspiring.

Adoption update this week is that we wrote to Senator Walden asking him to support H.R. 4603 also known as the Haitian Orphan Placement Effort (HOPE Act) which I wrote about a few weeks ago. We also heard from one adoption agency a couple of weeks ago that Haiti IS open to processing adoptions (and this is from a well-established agency), but we can find NO other confirmation of this anywhere else on the web. We are in the process of drafting a letter to them with inquiries of how this could be true. We will see what comes of that. We are hopeful, though! And we pray that it IS true!

After what has felt like a month of NOTHING happening on the adoption front, both Mark and I feel that things are about to move ahead in some way. We don't know exactly what is moving, but something is!

I will be honest here and say that some moving needs to take place in my heart right now regarding my waning faith. Oh, how I would love to be full of huge, unwavering faith that God is moving us along in His own timing. That He is bringing things to fruition that we can't even see right now. Really, deep down in my heart and mind I DO know and believe that; however, my human emotions get in my way so often and I fall prey to discouragement and fear. Fear. I can't stand feeling that, but there it is. Maybe someday I will stop editing myself on here and will actually share some of all the many things that I fear regarding this, but in a nutshell, it's the financial aspect as well as a lingering doubt that I really have what it takes to handle a difficult international adoption process. Here are some things that I am learning about myself:

*I get overwhelmed and can give up on things way too easily. Darn that perfectionism!

*I so quickly "forget" all the confirmations that the Lord has given us--I need to read my own blog!

*I think in earthly terms instead of Heavenly ones far too much.

*I have a very dysfunctional relationship with stress :-(

Well, there it is. I know it isn't pretty, but I also know that this is part of the refining process to get me ready for the calling that the Lord has placed on our lives. I am a work in progress, and I know that He who called me to this endeavor will be faithful to prepare me for it. It may be painful, slow, and not pretty, but I am willing to cooperate and be molded to His likeness no matter what it takes.

We appreciate your prayers for patience as we trust that our adoption delay is all a part of God's perfect timing and will. Remember how upset Mary and Martha got when Jesus didn't arrive in time to heal Lazarus?? Well, they misunderstood the delay thinking that He either didn't care or that He made a mistake in His timing. However, He had something greater in mind that blew the minds of all that witnessed it--He raised Lazarus from the dead!!! How much more awesome was that?? Way better than healing a dude who was recently sick! Poor Mary and Martha (mostly Martha--I really identify with her!), they needed to remember for a second the Person they were dealing with! It was Jesus--the Healer of bodies and HEARTS. So glad He still heals today too.

Okay, well, I didn't mean to have a little "sermonette" but that's what's been on my mind lately, so I guess it spilled over here a bit.

Until next time (hopefully not a month from now!)...