Saturday

Well, it's Saturday--one of my favorite days! Sleeping in a little is such a blessing when weeks become long and busy and weekdays start early---and a certain person stays up super late every night watching Olympics.... This week seemed to be longer than usual for some reason. The 2 younger girls were home from school on Thursday and Friday with bad colds, coughs, sore throats and low fevers. They are pretty much pathetic. However, I am thankful that they have warm beds, comfy couches, and cozy blankets to snuggle up with as they recover. They are troopers and keep each other company in their misery!

This makes me wonder...what's happening with our future children in Haiti? Are they sick? Are they sleeping outside in one of the oh-so-comfy UNICEF tents?? Do they have anyone who loves them and checks on their health and safety? If I dwell on this for too long I can drive myself CRAZY!! I know that some of you may think that I am weird for feeling and thinking these things when we don't even have children assigned to us yet, but God has children assigned to us and He knows who they are. I would say that I think this is God's way of preparing my heart to love DEEPLY children that are not of my flesh, but are called to be in our family. He has to break our hearts a little so that the love and commitment will remain strong throughout this long, arduous and uncertain process.

This week has proved again to be challenging to me in keeping my perspective focused on what God is asking of us. He will not call us to something and then not give us the ability to handle it. I have to continually remind myself of this fact. Reading about the impossibility of adopting from Haiti in so many places (I am resisting the urge to post links here...) is discouraging, but then I come across something like this:

The H.O.P.E. Act (Haitian Orphan Placement Effort)

It is a bill written by Sen Pete Hoekstra (Mich.) that, if passed, would expand Humanitarian Parole to include Haitian children who were already identified as orphans and were eligible for adoption prior to the earthquake, but had not yet been matched to a family. This could be huge, and we are praying! As I understand it, this would make the U.S. side of things much easier and less complicated, but Haiti would still need to agree to allowing it's confirmed orphans to be adopted. I am searching now to see if there is anything we can do to help in this endeavor.

Please pray with us as we seek to continue following the Lord's will for our family.

Adoption Meals--one way to save!

So we've recently coined a new term in our household--Adoption Meals! You can probably guess that it refers to budget-friendly meals that encourage less money spent on food so that more money stays in the bank for the ENORMOUS adoption fees that are coming our way soon. However, we are trying to add the component of praying for our adoption process and future children during these meals as well.

For example, on Valentine's Day we made the choice to not eat out for lunch or dinner (since it was on a Sunday, we could have done either one). Here's the yummy and super economical meal we shared together.

Mizithra Cheese and browned butter on angel hair
($3.50 for the cheese at Safeway, $.45 for one stick of butter from Costco, $.99 for one pound of angel hair pasta from Trader Joe's) $4.94 total

Caesar Salad
( $.50 for 1/6 of a bag of Romaine lettuce from Costco; $.50 for 1/2 of a cucumber from the Costco 3-pack; $.25 (approx) for a handful of Craisins from the big Costco bag; $.25 (approx) for a handful of croutons from the big Costco bag; $.50for 1/6 of a bottle of Girard's Caesar dressing; $.25 for a handful of grated parmesan cheese.) $3.00 total

French Bread
($.99 from Safeway--butter and herbs added from pantry) $.99 total

Lemonade/"Adult beverage"
(girls had lemonade from a $.99 frozen can; mom and dad each had 1 glass of wine from cheap $6.00 Trader Joe's bottle) $2.50 total

Chocolate chip cookies
(don't really know the total here since I had all the ingredients in my pantry, but I would estimate that we ate only about $1.00 worth) $1.00 total

So, for less than $12.00 all 5 of us had a wonderful and special Adoption Valentine's Meal that was so yummy! And there were NO crowds to fight! And we watched a movie while we ate!

It's not easy to always choose the adoption meal plan--I'll be honest here. With both Mark and I working full-time, it is so tempting to eat out when we're tired. However, we almost never ate out on a weeknight before we decided to adopt, so those days aren't really the problem. It's the weekends!! I REALLY enjoy the break of not cooking so much on the weekends. Even though cooking is one of my joys, it's tiring to try to be creative all the time so that the family isn't always eating the same thing. Our typical weekend meals used to be easy fun food on Friday (usually take-out pizza from our favorite pizza places), and Date Night for Mark and I on Saturday night while the kids ate left-overs or easy stuff Alli can make at home. Then Sunday it's out to lunch after church since church is a 1/2 hour away from home. That's 3 meals out in 3 days---not good, even if it's cheap! We are trying to choose only 1 time to eat out in a week in order to stretch the budget further. Then when eating at home I am trying to be more aware of how I can stretch things further (eating a few meatless meals helps!).

I'm on the hunt for cheap and nutritious meals that can go into our "Adoption Meal" category, so please share any tips you may have! In the meantime, I now have to decide if this week's meal out will include everyone or just Mark and I--that Date Night is HARD to give up!! :-)

Lost Week

It feels like a lost week on the adoption front. All our "official" birth certs. and marriage certs. arrived at the end of last week, but now we're just sitting around wondering what to do next.

We need direction. Do we just wait to see what happens? I am not sure. We are struggling with how much we should "push" to see things happen. There are some things that no amount of pushing will change. Like, we can't make Haiti decide to open up adoptions; however we ARE praying for that! But do we risk doing time-sensitive things like a home study (and paying all the money for it) when we may have to do it again if it expires before we can move forward? These are things I ponder daily. We covet your prayers.

I'll be sitting in a Bible conference all weekend (looking forward to it!) in order to keep my teaching credential up to date. Maybe the Lord will reveal something to my heart about these things! I am hopeful!

Keep Pressing On...

That's what I'm telling myself today...keep pressing on toward what we know that God has called us to do. Another email arrived from an agency we were hopeful about. Not a bad letter, but not full of hope like I was hoping. Here's the message I'm getting that most agencies are sending out: (of course, this is the way I hear it...)

"Please send money to help keep all of our programs/orphanages running. We will add you to a list of families who want to adopt, and we'll let you know when we start accepting applications again. In the meantime, go read up on how hard international adoption is. If you're still here when Haiti finally opens up for adoptions again, just know that everything will be slow and difficult and unorganized. Do you want to consider a different country?? Here's a preliminary application to fill out. Then-- you wait. Oh, and send money..."

Okay, I TOTALLY get that Haiti needs money!! Of course they do!! So much has been lost and so many are suffering. However, we have been called to a different ministry--one that will be our ministry for the rest of our lives (and will require a lot of money, I might add...) We are called to parent children that have lived through this horrible tragedy as well as the many tragedies that have occurred in Haiti in the last couple of years. It's a harsh place. We know that it will not be easy. And we know that we are not in this quest to just "rescue" a child. We have deeper reasons. We want to share our love and family with more children. We love children and have a heart for seeing children grow up in a home that is full of the love of God and family. We want our lives to be lives of service to God and to the world. We WANT MORE from this life than the material offerings of the world. We want to build a sense of deep love and compassion for the world into our family, no matter how many children it includes.

We thoroughly appreciate what adoption agencies are doing, but I want to say, "We're different!! We didn't just watch the news and make a rash decision to do this! We know that it will be hard. We know that parenting children who have been living in an orphanage will be even harder. We know that we have a lot to learn still. BUT...we also know the One who called us to this. We know that He is our Rock, our Redeemer, our Strength and our Shelter. He is able, even when we are not. He is strong when we are continually weak. He will accomplish the purpose He has set before us."

There. I feel better now. Thanks for reading...

Ignorance does not equal bliss...

I don't have a lot of knowledge on the adoption front yet--Mark and I are learning as we go. However, we have begun to do some reading on possible new adoption policy that will be formed in Haiti following the earthquake. There are many opinions swirling around out there, that's for sure!

In our reading we came across a blog written by a family that has lived in Haiti as a missionary family for the last 4 years. We don't know these people, but I admire their heart for the Lord and for Haiti, and I have been reading their blog daily. They have several children--3 of them are adopted from Haiti. They recently returned to the states to re-group and rest while determining what their next steps should be. I encourage you to read some of their blog history if you are interested in being blessed. Here is a post from their blog today that sums up the adoption controversy quite well:

"Last night on AC360 Anderson visited an orphanage outside of Port au Prince.

As he interviewed the people overseeing the orphanage they said things and he repeated them in agreement. It was the "let's all agree and not think critically" segment.

During the interview one women admitted that most kids were placed in the orphanage as a result of financial hardship in the birth family. She did not claim the children had deceased parents. (Although some of them probably do.) She went on to explain that they would not want to offer adoption as a choice because these children need to stay in their own culture. Anderson did not ask a single hard question and just nodded in agreement. In reality orphanages are a subculture and cannot effectively preserve the culture that they so adamantly claim needs preserving.

AC went with the unicef line about how much better it is to be raised in an orphanage in your own country ... preserving your cultural norms and avoiding adoption at all costs. (Meanwhile unicef spokesperson Angelina Jolie adopts children from other cultures and ruins their chances of growing up in an orphanage - yet somehow that is different. You must need to be a celebrity to break unicef rules.)

The weird thing is, they stood in an orphanage meant to house 100+ kids at once and literally said "We never want to take these kids from their parents, their parents love them." Yet the kids are LIVING in the orphanage ... do they not count that as taking them from their parents?

Basically, you can take them from their parents to raise them in your crowded institution - but you cannot take them and place them in nuclear families abroad ... that is abusive. They sat there saying that the kids were placed mainly due to financial reasons, then tried to say that they must be raised in Haiti to be able to help Haiti some day. One teenage girl spoke on camera, saying something like "If you adopt all the kids out they won't be here to help their people, and that is what we want." It was an odd soundbyte by someone who is likely on a short-term visit to Haiti and has very little big picture perspective.

I hardly think anyone is suggesting that we take every.single. child in every.single. orphanage and move them out of Haiti. OF COURSE NOT. As usual, they change the argument into something it is not. ALL children leaving Haiti is a bad idea. An idiot knows that. You cannot remove the entire next generation. But, ALL children staying in Haiti (closing down adoption on the whole) is a really bad idea too.

The same thing applies as in every other argument ... it is not a black and white, one size-fits-all argument. Different situations warrant different responses ... there is no hard and fast rule, no one response to the orphan crisis. Keeping hundreds of thousands of orphans (with or without living birth-parents) in institutions and thinking that these institutions will prepare them to "give back to their country" -- is nothing short of totally ignorant. The vast majority of orphanages in Haiti are horribly understaffed and overcrowded. Those conditions don't turn out world leaders.

Most orphanages look different on the days that visitors come. They are not wonderful, loving, centers of cultural goodness. 100 kids living in one building was presented as a brilliant idea by Coop last night. I am not exactly sure what he was thinking. Live in an orphanage for three months when there are no cameras around. THEN come tell me how totally awesome it is to stay in your home culture.

I don't know why Anderson is generalizing and suggesting one solution for the problem of orphans in Haiti. These one-sided platitudes must be encouraged by unicef or by those ten people that tried to take kids illegally ... but either way they are misguided. I'd love to see Anderson actually report on this issue looking at BOTH sides.

Adoption is not warranted in every situation. Of course not. But keeping all orphaned kids from the opportunity to be adopted in order preserve their fabulous (orphan) culture and keep unicef in business, is not a one-size-fits-all solution either."

It's definitely a lot to think about. Of course we would all love for children to have all that they need to grow up in a safe, healthy and happy environment within their own country; but as stated in the post above, that is not always possible!! And if adoptions are shut down because of some philosophy of UNICEF, what will become of these children? Already overcrowded orphanages will be even more crowded by displaced children. Should they be forced to live out their childhoods in institutions just so that they can "grow up and give back to their country"?? What will they even have to give back, I wonder...

If you have more knowledge on this than I do, please comment! I would be happy to read other opinions.

Encouragement

God is good. All the time. He truly is! He has been so faithful in giving us encouragement along the way as we seek Him for our next steps. We have been given so many verses that show us again and again that this journey wasn't chosen by us, it was chosen by Him! He has planned this adventure in faith and obedience, and He will order our steps.

"For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things He planned for us long ago." Eph. 2:10

The knowledge that He is in this and that He will guide and direct our steps has given me so much comfort in the times that I am afraid. It seems that my emotions swing widely depending on the day. The first couple of weeks after making this decision were definitely the hardest so far, and thankfully it has gotten better. However, I know that as we move closer--especially after we get a referral--there will be a battle waged against my faith and patience. I must fortify myself in Christ and His goodness. It is not His desire for me to live in fear or faithlessness, and it is not my desire to live that way either!

Sunday morning as I was doing the 45 minute blow-dry/flat-iron on this ultra-curly head, I was reading my Bible (might as well get something noble done while the vain side is doing its work, right??). Anyway, I don't do this often, but I opened my Bible and let my eyes just fall to a verse on the page. (A friend of mine apparently calls this "Bible Roulette"! I love that!) Here are the verses I read:

"Yet he (speaking of Abraham) did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had the power to do what he had promised."
Rom. 4:21-22 (emphasis mine)

If you go back a couple of verses earlier, it talks about how Abraham had faith "even though he was as good as dead"!! That cracked us up--I asked Mark if he was as good as dead! Then we decided that we would apply that thought to our bank account! We will have faith--even if our bank account is as good as dead!!

The adoption update for this week is that we did hear back from the family friend who has someone in his church trying to finalize their adoption from Haiti. They used a contact in Haiti who is a lawyer and also runs several ministries there--and is a Haitian himself. I am anxious to talk to the family to see if they recommend going that route, or if they recommend using an agency. We also found another agency this week that looks promising. As I mentioned earlier, Mark's sister adopted from Haiti nearly 8 years ago. Of course, the first adoption agency we looked into was the one they used. We soon found out that their agency just recently closed, so all of the contacts she had were no longer accessible. All his sister had left was the name of the man who ran the orphanage where they got their daughter, and we couldn't find him. Well, the new agency I just found this week mentions him on their website! He is still there running the orphanage! We don't know what, if anything, will come of that; but it was great to find a contact that someone in our family has used before. We are pursuing these options now. Waiting for responses to emails...

One cool thing that happened this week is that the "official" copies of our marriage license arrived! Yay! We're finally married---just kidding! One of the many things required in international adoptions are certain types of copies of different documents. Your marriage license and birth certificates must be printed on paper that has a raised county or state or country seal--not the "copies" that most of us have on plain white paper. So, $225.00 later, we have all of those coming to us in the mail. I have a feeling we will be great friends with the notary down at our bank by the time this process is finished! She had to notarize papers that prove our identity so that we could get all those official documents mailed to us. I just hope that I didn't jump the gun and order the wrong kind... I just needed to DO something!

I will close with asking for a couple of prayer requests for those of you who would be willing to pray for us:

1. Please pray for continued faith, and for patience! (see above where I said that I just needed to do something?? Not a great sign of patience!)
2. Pray for clear direction in what agency, if any, we should use.
3. Please pray for our children that are still in Haiti! Pray for safety, health and that God would show them His great love and that they would feel their Heavenly Father holding them in the palm of His hand.

Thank you for your prayers. I will close with this verse: "I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you."
Ps. 32:8

Listening

So, it's Friday!! Tomorrow is Mark's birthday--and next month we celebrate being together as a couple for *gasp* 20 YEARS!! How am I that old?? He must've married a baby...

Thanks for the encouragement and comments on my previous posts. It's weird and unexpected that I wonder who's reading and what they're thinking. You readers are putting my fears to rest.

I guess I will pick up our story with where I left off before. We finally decided to heed the call that we so strongly felt God leading us toward. We agreed that we must pursue adoption in Haiti. One thing that I have failed to mention so far is that Mark's sister adopted a daughter from Haiti nearly 8 years ago. She is the same age as McKenna and they live just a few miles away from us. I guess that helps to explain why we are so passionate about Haiti. We are going to pursue a sibling group of girls in the 4-8 age range--but we are totally open to what the Lord leads us to. Many think that this must be our way to get a boy! We love boys, but feel so broken over the horrible abuses that can happen to little girls. And if you know my husband, he is AMAZING with our girls. Even though he is a man's man, God made him the perfect daddy to model Christ's love to his daughters.

Well, after the decision was made we decided to tell a few very close friends and our family. I wasn't sure what reaction we would get, but it has been overwhelmingly positive! In fact when we told my parents, they were so excited and said that right after they quake they thought that we should try to adopt some of those kids! When I was talking to them, they really didn't even seem shocked or surprised~they already had an idea that we should do it! I can't tell you how much that encouraged me and built my faith!

A few weeks later we finally got in touch with Mark's mom who goes to Mexico and does missions work with her husband every winter. Mark began to tell her our plans, and we could hear her giggling in the background. I wasn't sure what that was about! Then she told us that several days earlier she had a strong feeling in her heart that we were going to decide to adopt and that it would be from Haiti! She said she tried to brush it off thinking that it probably was nothing, but then she got the feeling again--and even stronger! So she told her husband about it and then we were telling her our story over the phone, and it was just so amazing to all of us that God told all the grandparents before we even had the chance!

So we are now in the process of researching agencies and compiling official documents that we will need. Many of you know that Haiti is "officially" closed to adoption right now, and the story in the news about that church group coming in and taking 30 some children to the D.R. is only hurting things. We did find 2 agencies that will let us go ahead and begin the application process, but then our file will be put on hold until Haiti is open again. We have a lot to consider. One agency is not "religious" that I can see, but they are pretty well-known and offer a lot of help in the process. They also have comparatively low rates for their service. The other agency is also well-known and offers great service--and they are a Christian agency; however, their prices are much higher than others that I have seen. And I can't find anything that says they offer a reduced rate for families adopting more than one child. One more really cool thing that happened is that the contact at the Christian agency (which is in our state!!) is married to a guy that has been a family friend forever! She is emailing me with lots of valuable information, but warns that the country is very unstable and wants to make sure we understand the risks.

Aside from all of our agency searching we also discover that another close family friend who is a pastor in Washington personally knows a Haitian pastor/missionary/lawyer who has successfully helped several families in the Washington pastor's church adopt children from Haiti! We are awaiting a response from an email I sent...

Another thing that I want to make clear to those who may wonder---we realize that there is a need for Haiti to close adoptions until the status of all the "apparently" orphaned children can be established. We certainly would never want to take a child who was merely separated from their family members who might be able to care for them! However, it is our understanding from what we have read and heard, that Haiti had about 300,000 orphans BEFORE THE QUAKE! Unfortunately, it seems that a lot of that paperwork that proves their status was destroyed and buried in the rubble somewhere. We don't know much about all of this, but we are praying for those who are truly orphaned to be quickly identified and for their paperwork to be found or recreated so that they can be part of a family. There are some agencies (UNICEF) who seem to want to thwart the efforts of people wanting to provide loving homes and families to these children. It appears that they would rather have a child grow up in an institution/orphanage in their home country than have them adopted by a family in another country! I think that's crazy~ We fully agree that a child needs to know their history (not just the bad parts--the great things too!) and their culture. And that is our plan! How awesome would it be to train up Haitian children in the knowledge of the Lord and then make it part of our family's calling to travel back and forth to Haiti on mission's trips sharing the love of Jesus with the people that gave us our children! Awesome! Just wanted to explain a little further...

More later...

Brief Pause

Sorry to those of you who left comments and wondered when they were going to show up! I just figured out where to go to make sure they post! Yeah, I'm a little slow... :-)

God's Call

I'm not sure that one post will be able to contain all that is swirling in my brain regarding God's call on our lives to begin the process of international adoption, so bear with me. It may take awhile to get it all out and into blogland. Also, remember that I'm a newbie at this!

So, I will start by saying that adoption has always been something that I have been open to. Mark and I have discussed it on many, many occasions, but the timing never really seemed right. And, I think it's fair to say that it was more of "my idea" than Mark's. He said that if God clearly showed us this was His plan, then he would pursue it. Of course, I firmly believed that we must be fully united in an endeavor this life-changing for us to ever pursue it. So I put the idea in the back of my brain where it sat for years.

Fast-forward to October of 2009. I attended a wonderful women's retreat in my town at the beginning of the month where God had some big surprises for me. First off, I didn't even want to go to this retreat. I teach 1st grade and try hard to juggle all those responsibilities with the responsibilities of being a mom, so when the weekends roll around I have a pretty full agenda for all that needs to be accomplished before Monday morning comes. Going to a retreat means that my weekend schedule is going to get all messed up! Add to that the fact that I was feeling somewhat dry spiritually, so the motivation to go just wasn't there. But bless the hearts of sweet friends who said that I needed to go! A dear friend of mine was the keynote speaker, and I wanted to give her my support and encouragement....so I VERY RELUCTANTLY went.

I won't give all the details of that weekend, but God showed up HUGE! He broke my heart for things that I needed to see---suffering people, my own lack of connection with some big things that have eternal value, hurt relationships that hadn't been fully rebuilt, etc... I spent most of the weekend crying--which is NOT NORMAL for me at all! God removed scales from my eyes, masks from my face and walls from my heart. It was excruciatingly painful, but eventually it was SO FREEING!! I went home with a deep feeling in my heart that my life was about to dramatically change...

I began to pray and meet with friends and talk with Mark about what was happening in my heart and life. I was also seeking God even more. I was hungry to hear from Him (and I still am!!). He was speaking into my heart and filling me with new thoughts and ideas and plans. I had the swine flu during this time and a friend brought me the daily devotional book, Jesus Calling. This book is written as if Jesus is talking to you and describes how much He longs to commune with you every day. It's been a life-changing book and I will probably quote it a lot here. (Get it if you can!!) Next, I began to question my calling to teach. I teach in a small Christian school where all of my kids attend. This is my 9th year there. A huge part of my identity is wrapped up in the word "teacher". After all, what would I do if I wasn't teaching? Would I just be a mom to three girls?? (I know the answer to this, of course I LOVE being a mom--I'm just making a point that so many women feel that their lives have to be totally busy and filled with all kinds of "meaningful activity" in order for them to be important or valued. I was realizing that I had fallen prey to this lie.). I still don't have all the answers regarding this subject, but one thing I know:

My identity is in Christ alone. I am His daughter, His Bride, His Beloved. I am bought with a high price and He values me just as I am--flaws and all. I don't have to DO anything to be fully loved and cherished by Him.

Okay, back to the story....
So, the holidays rolled around and I could see that this burning feeling that something big was coming was only growing stronger. I had great days of excitement and really hard days of uncertainty and fear. The roller coaster effect was beginning to take a toll. But then I would feel guilty realizing that many people LIVE on a roller coaster, so I'd try to buckle in for the ride. At this time I was reading Crazy Love by Francis Chan. I HIGHLY recommend it! My faith was being challenged in a new way. Was I really willing to give anything to see the lost come to Jesus? Would I be willing to give up the comforts that I like in order to give more to others who suffer and have not even the basic necessities? I was wrestling with these and other questions and not liking what I was finding out about myself...I mean, I've been a Christ-follower for like 35 years!! Why were some of these basic concepts about giving, loving and serving so hard??

I wrestled, I read, I prayed, I talked, and I resolved. I resolved that I would do whatever God asked--no matter how hard it was or how much it cost me. Mind you, this is not a one time decision! Each day--sometimes multiple times a day-- I must resolve again and give up my flesh to Him. (I know it seems basic to many of you, but remember that I'm a work in progress!) Soon, God brought more into my life to challenge me.

An earthquake happens in Haiti. Devastation. Death. An already overloaded system of orphanages was now being inundated with countless other children either orphaned or separated from their parents and family. However, for me, remember that the idea of adoption was in the back of my mind and was not going to be opened up again unless Mark brought it up. Well, he brought it up. He came home from work 3 days after the quake and grabbed me in a hug and said, "We need to seriously pray about adopting some of those kids in Haiti". Now, you'd think I'd be flying high that he brought it up, but no! The only real word I heard at that moment was, "some"! SOME!!! What is he thinking!! We began to talk fervently about it. I wanted to make sure that he was serious. Oh yeah, he was totally serious!

Prayer. Lots and lots of prayer. We told no one about our thoughts for awhile. We just read and prayed and fasted. We didn't want to do anything that was not in God's will. But the urgency of this huge disaster became the fuel that fed the small flame that was already in our hearts. Well, the floodgates of His leading began to pour forth. For my own clarity in writing this, I am going to list things that were happening in bullet form below:

• God allowed us to see tons of news footage with sweet little children who are in need of families. We were both moved to tears (not normal for us, but admittedly, these are just emotions--not something to base a huge decision like this on).
• Friends were saying things to me like, "I just have this strong feeling that God has a huge ministry for you that you haven't found yet." These were words from sisters in Christ that have a deep and abiding relationship with Christ. Their words matter much to me.
• My daily devotional, Jesus Calling, by Sarah Young had these words to say during this time of seeking and praying: "I am with you and for you. When you decide on a course of action that is in line with my will, nothing in heaven or on earth can stop you. You may encounter many obstacles as you move toward your goal, but don't be discouraged--never give up! With My help, you can overcome any obstacle. Do not expect an easy path as you journey hand in hand with Me, but do remember that I, your very-present Helper, am omnipotent." Such amazing and encouraging words for my fearful heart!
• We read these words of Francis Chan: "The way you live your days is the way you live your life". How do I really want to live?? Safely or sacrificially?
• Both Mark and I on the same day, yet at different times are led to read Is. 58. Neither of us knew the other one was reading it too until we talked about it that night. I won't quote the whole thing, but the first half is all about fasting (something we were planning on doing the next day) and the second half is all about helping the poor, oppressed and orphaned. Hmm...
  

I think I need to stop the bullets. I'm getting tired of it. Anyway, at the end of our week or so of praying, we took a day to fast and really seek God for an answer to whether or not we should pursue adoption from Haiti. A couple of hours before the fast was over I offered one plea to the Lord. I said, "Lord, I really feel that this is the direction You are asking us to go, but I am afraid to trust my feelings and afraid to head in a direction that is not from You. I am begging You to please give me one more REALLY CLEAR sign that this is what we're supposed to do. " Later that evening as we are chatting with my brother's family in our living room (and they knew nothing about any of this), my brother says out of the blue, "Hey with all that's happened in Haiti, you guys should really think about adopting some of those kids!" My brother was used to be the voice of God!! I about freaked out right there! God had given me exactly what I asked for! After they left (still not knowing anything), Mark and I decided that this was the path God was leading us to walk.

*So, this post is WAY too long...sorry! Next post~ Mountains begin to move!

The beginning of this process...

Well, I have decided to open up my heart to the world (my very tiny world!) and begin blogging. I'm not sure how this will go, and to tell the truth, I am a bit scared. I have long been a "blog lurker" (I think that's what we're called!), and have several favorites that I check in on daily. Mostly, I enjoy the witty writing and marvel at the transparency that so many are willing to show. So, I pray that I won't be too boring and that I will be willing to reveal the things that God is asking me to reveal in my writing. To start off, it's only fair that I warn you of these things:

• I am usually somewhat brief--kind of a "get to the point" type; however, that could all change here. Who knows??
• I will probably have some huge lapses between posts. I wish it weren't so, because I know what a bummer it is to check on a blog every day and not find a new post! However, life gets in the way, so it is what it is...
• I am a work in progress! I will try not to offend anyone with anything that I may say, but I may just put my foot in my mouth every now and then. So, I humbly ask for your long-suffering forgiveness! (By the way...isn't it SO AWESOME that our Lord is so long-suffering with us?? More on this topic later...)

What's the reason/point/theme of this blog, you ask?? Well, maybe if I figure out how to upload pictures (don't judge!) and can manage to write once in awhile I will have some sort of chronicle of our family that consists of more than a few pages of my almost 16 year old's first year of life along with a gazillion pictures sitting in boxes and in computer files! Really, it's that bad...

Also, we are listening to God's call on our lives to welcome new children to our family through the gift of adoption. As amazing things are happening we realize that we need to write things down lest we grow discouraged on the way and forget the times of clearly hearing His voice. So, we are inviting you, our few readers, to join us as we share. We covet your prayers and welcome your comments and encouragement!

Tomorrow~ "God's Call" Until then, be blessed!