Back on track

So this post might seem strange after my last one, but now here we are.  It is 18 months after we first knew that God was calling us to adopt from Haiti.  We haven't made many steps toward that happening.  After stopping everything while we considered whether God was leading us to adopt the little guy in the previous post, we now have officially started it up again.  We still have unknowns with his situation, but at this point, we feel that it is unlikely to lead to us getting to adopt him.  We will still continue our weekends with him, and we will trust God with the rest.

Anyone familiar with adoption knows that one of the first things that needs to happen is that there must be a Homestudy done by a licensed social worker.  Basically, our whole lives get investigated to make sure that we aren't crazy people that want to adopt kids.  We write entire histories of our lives that include what our families were like growing up (grandparent relationships, parental relationships, sibling relationships...) and what our own family is like now.  We have to have fingerprinting done, medical tests done, references written, tons of forms filled out, taxes copied, financial questions answered, guardianship chosen for our kids, and the lists go on....

Anyway....we have done all of that!  And now our assigned case worker is visiting us to document that what we wrote is true, and to walk us through the first approval process towards adopting internationally.  I am thrilled to say that we have an awesome case worker!  She lives in our town, and was a delight to meet.  She has completed our first in-home visit, and we will have our second meeting next week.  After that visit, she will write up our completed homestudy that will be the basis of our adoption approval.  Now our new job will be to finalize exactly what agency we will use to complete our international adoption.  The agency doing our homestudy only does domestic adoptions, but they are licensed to complete Int'l homestudies as well.  Some of you that have read from the time that I started this blog will remember that we did choose an agency a long time ago.  However, they seem to be pretty inactive right now.  Nothing has changed on their website in over a year.  We aren't receiving email updates at all.  Needless to say, this has us worried about continuing with them.  We are actively looking for a new path.  We need to find it soon since the clock is ticking once our homestudy is complete.  We would like to have this plan in place in the next two weeks.  But I am learning that what I think is a good plan may not be what the Lord thinks is a good plan!  We are asking Him to lead us to the path that He has for us to take.  Maybe the original agency?  Maybe a new one?  Maybe a direct adoption through an established orphanage that we know about?  We will keep on following His lead. 

On a side note, while I seem to rarely write here anymore, I do LOVE reading other blogs!  I especially love the ones that post a variety of topics.  So, I may diverge from the topic of adoption and our family occasionally to write about something fairly random.  Like how awesome the fresh raspberries are in my MIL's yard, or how excited I am to be almost finished writing my Unit Guides for my 19 unit math curriculum!  You never know, it could happen....;-)

Sweet Boy

He came into the classroom with huge eyes that looked to be filled with apprehension and possibly even fear. All of this was new to him.  His Kindergarten year had been disrupted by a very scary event that resulted in him now living with Grandpa and Grandma, and this was really his first foray into a real classroom and real learning.  I welcomed him warmly and made sure that he met some of the other boys who would become his best buds for this school year.  He slowly relaxed.  Our first days as a class are always a bit "out of the norm" as I focus strongly on teaching routines, rules and respect, but soon we settled into our normal daily schedule of reading, writing, math, etc...

Fast forward a couple of months....

I look over during our seatwork time as I am running through reading groups, and I see huge, silent tears streaming down his face.  This isn't the first time he has cried, but it is different in that it doesn't seem to be prompted by anything.  No one was mean to him.  Nothing happened that I can see.  I dismiss my reading group and call him over to my desk.  "What's wrong, Honey?"  I ask.  As I reach to hug him (a huge benefit of teaching in a Christian school), he lays his head on my shoulder and says, "I miss my mom.  I WANT a mom!"  I try and pretty much fail at holding it together myself.  This precious boy wants a mommy (and a daddy), and while his grandparents have been amazing in their love and care for him, he is realizing that everyone else in the class has something that he doesn't have.

It is now January, and grandma is calling me frequently to ask questions about school, about his emotional health and about how to minister in the best possible way to her grandson.  In one of our conversations, I offer to have him come stay with us on the weekends to help give them a break--caring for a seven year old boy is busy work!--and to help meet his need for "family".  And so begin our weekends for the next several months.  We are still in this ministry mode.  We typically pick him up on Friday afternoons and keep him until Sunday evening.  To say that he loves coming here, is probably an understatement.  I don't say this to sound like we are some kind of amazing family, I say this because children are wired to need a family.  Grandma and Grandpa are vital and healthy and amazing care givers, but they are supposed to be filling a different role.  They should be doing the spoiling, the sleepovers, the games, the sharing of family history.  Not the discipline, homework, chores, etc...

What does this mean for our adoption pursuits?  Well, this is why there has been a significant delay in our process.  We thought maybe the Lord had led us down the path of adoption so that when this little guy came into our lives, we would be open to adopting him (we are, by the way).  However, there is a mom in this boy's life.  She has rights that she is unwilling to give up.  I don't even know that she should give them up.  We pray constantly about this situation and at this point we feel the Lord saying that we are here to "stand in the gap" while mom is getting her life together.  We pray that she will be fit to care for him once again.

In the meantime, we love, we care, we read bedtime stories, we snuggle, we play, we teach, and we wipe away tears and tell him of God's immense love and plan for him.  We don't know what the future holds, but we trust the One who does.

Next time---Homestudy, Part 1!