Alive

I am alive, people. Sorry that I have been absent for so long. I knew this would happen, even though I wished that it wouldn't. I really am amazed by all the blog writers that I follow. How in the world do they have such busy lives, yet find the time to post almost daily?? It's inspiring.

Adoption update this week is that we wrote to Senator Walden asking him to support H.R. 4603 also known as the Haitian Orphan Placement Effort (HOPE Act) which I wrote about a few weeks ago. We also heard from one adoption agency a couple of weeks ago that Haiti IS open to processing adoptions (and this is from a well-established agency), but we can find NO other confirmation of this anywhere else on the web. We are in the process of drafting a letter to them with inquiries of how this could be true. We will see what comes of that. We are hopeful, though! And we pray that it IS true!

After what has felt like a month of NOTHING happening on the adoption front, both Mark and I feel that things are about to move ahead in some way. We don't know exactly what is moving, but something is!

I will be honest here and say that some moving needs to take place in my heart right now regarding my waning faith. Oh, how I would love to be full of huge, unwavering faith that God is moving us along in His own timing. That He is bringing things to fruition that we can't even see right now. Really, deep down in my heart and mind I DO know and believe that; however, my human emotions get in my way so often and I fall prey to discouragement and fear. Fear. I can't stand feeling that, but there it is. Maybe someday I will stop editing myself on here and will actually share some of all the many things that I fear regarding this, but in a nutshell, it's the financial aspect as well as a lingering doubt that I really have what it takes to handle a difficult international adoption process. Here are some things that I am learning about myself:

*I get overwhelmed and can give up on things way too easily. Darn that perfectionism!

*I so quickly "forget" all the confirmations that the Lord has given us--I need to read my own blog!

*I think in earthly terms instead of Heavenly ones far too much.

*I have a very dysfunctional relationship with stress :-(

Well, there it is. I know it isn't pretty, but I also know that this is part of the refining process to get me ready for the calling that the Lord has placed on our lives. I am a work in progress, and I know that He who called me to this endeavor will be faithful to prepare me for it. It may be painful, slow, and not pretty, but I am willing to cooperate and be molded to His likeness no matter what it takes.

We appreciate your prayers for patience as we trust that our adoption delay is all a part of God's perfect timing and will. Remember how upset Mary and Martha got when Jesus didn't arrive in time to heal Lazarus?? Well, they misunderstood the delay thinking that He either didn't care or that He made a mistake in His timing. However, He had something greater in mind that blew the minds of all that witnessed it--He raised Lazarus from the dead!!! How much more awesome was that?? Way better than healing a dude who was recently sick! Poor Mary and Martha (mostly Martha--I really identify with her!), they needed to remember for a second the Person they were dealing with! It was Jesus--the Healer of bodies and HEARTS. So glad He still heals today too.

Okay, well, I didn't mean to have a little "sermonette" but that's what's been on my mind lately, so I guess it spilled over here a bit.

Until next time (hopefully not a month from now!)...