Thursday, August 16, 2012

Sweet Alli


My dear firstborn,
   This has been burning in my heart for some time, but finding the emotional fortitude to compose all these thoughts has escaped me until today.  I can't believe that we only have a few short days left until we take you down to Biola and then drive away to come home...without you!  If I wanted to, I could sit here and think of all the wonderful memories we have and cry myself into a puddle right here on the couch, but I want to find the joy in your amazing new adventure, so instead we will recap your amazing life...so far!

I remember well the day that we found out we were expecting you.  I wasn't sure what to think at first since we were so surprised!  But God wasn't surprised, and I am so thankful that He chose to give us you so early in our marriage.  I was so thrilled when you were born with all that amazing hair and tiny little features.  We had a rough start in the nursing department at first, but thankfully we both figured out what we were doing!  

As you grew, it became apparent that you loved people and socializing!  You talked before you walked!  You loved music and would dance and twirl whenever you heard any tune.




I remember how much fun I had going around town with my little sidekick!  You were our "only" for nearly 4 years, so we did everything together.  You loved going to women's Bible study with me and hanging with your peeps in the nursery.  While you were super fussy and colicky your first few months, you quickly grew out of that and were always easy to leave with a sitter or nursery worker.  I look back now and see that God instilled in your very being a sense of security and a lack of fear when encountering new situations.  We could even see that when you slept---arms spread out and your body sprawled out on the bed.  You didn't sleep all curled up in a ball like some do.

You developed many great friendships in your early years down in El Cajon.  Even though we moved to Oregon when you were just barely 5 years old, it was very hard for you to leave your friends!  Josiah, Luke, Lara, Bethany...you missed them so much!



You loved to play dress up, and we still joke about the pathetic outfits you wore since we didn't own any "real" costumes!  hahaha!


You were so happy when friends flew up to visit you in our new home in Oregon.

Watching my super social girl have to move far away from her friends was so hard for me.  We still had almost 6 months to wait for Kindergarten to start after moving here.  But God had a plan!  I am so thankful that we found CCS right across the parking lot from Dad's new job!  Central Christian School became our school--your school--and it was filled with friends for you!  The day that you graduated from Kindergarten was such a great day because we could see the joy on your face!

As the years began to fly by, I distinctly remember thinking that I wanted to stop time for awhile and just sit in the moment a bit longer.  Sadly, I wish I could go back and really take more time to enjoy life's experiences even more with you.  I think what probably many mothers think---I would spend less time worrying about stupid things like a clean house and would focus more on building memories with my children.  I am sorry that you had to be the "guinea pig" kid, because I am sure that you got to experience the vast majority of my freaky psycho ways!  Hopefully I am learning to lighten up a bit (maybe??), and won't mess up as much with the others!

I am so thankful for a God who covers over mistakes and has developed you into a beautiful woman after His heart. I love that He is helping you and your sisters find your common interests and build a bond that is unbreakable.  Your sisters adore you and admire you so much!


What a gift it is to have sisters!!

So, as you embark on this new chapter of your life, I want to tell you a few more things.  First off, I am SO proud of you and who you are.  You are filled with so many gifts--more than your share!
  
However, those many gifts do not define you or contribute in any way to your worth or value.

  My perfectionistic personality took a LONG time to learn this myself.  Your value is based solely on the fact that you were created in the image of God and when you trusted in Him for your salvation you put on His righteousness and traded in your fleshly sin nature made of filthy rags.   So when God looks at you, He sees the righteousness of His Son and has removed your sin as far as the east is from the west!  Sounds like an awesome deal to me! As a woman, you will be continuously bombarded with society's message that you must look a certain way or act a certain way in order to be considered "worthy" or "beautiful", but I pray that you will have the grace and faith to reject that lie from the enemy! 

 I want you to KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt "who you are and Whose you are"   
(remember these words from Grandpa?? ;-)!

I read this in Jesus Calling this week:

"Wear my robe of righteousness with ease.  I custom-made it for you, to cover you from head to toe.  The price I paid for this covering was astronomical--My own blood.  You could never purchase such a royal garment, no matter how hard you worked.  Sometimes you forget that My righteousness is a gift, and you feel ill at ease in your royal robe.  I weep when I see you squirming under the velvety fabric, as if it were made of scratchy sackcloth.

I want you to trust me enough to realize your privileged position in My kingdom.  Relax in the luxuriant folds of your magnificent robe.  Keep your eyes on Me, as you practice walking in this garment of righteousness.  When your behavior is unfitting for one in My kingdom, do not try to throw off your royal robe.  Instead, throw off the unrighteous behavior.  Then you will be able to feel at ease in this glorious garment, enjoying the gift I fashioned for you before the foundation of the world."

My dear daughter, this is what I pray for you!  Know who you are!  Know that you are royalty in His kingdom!  And when you mess up--as we all do--confess and move forward into the calling He has for you!!  He has a huge plan for you that is only beginning.  I pray that you will heed His voice, even when it is quiet and hard to hear.  Wait on Him for clear direction when you need to make a decision.  I heard some great advice once about listening for His voice.  It was from Beth Moore, and she said that when she asks the Lord for an answer about a decision she has to make, she waits and doesn't choose until she hears clearly from Him.  If she waits and hears nothing?  She assumes His answer is "no".  I think that is great advice!  

Finally, just because you are moving out and into a dorm where you get to practice being a full-on adult, don't forget that Dad and I are still here for you.  We will always answer your calls and help you through this next phase of life.  We will still probably mess up, and I will still nag you to study (just to help ease your homesickness!), but we will always be your number one cheerleaders and fans!  


You are precious, gifted, beautiful, and LOVED hugely!

~Mom

And here are a few more pics for your enjoyment~

Roommates at Biola and best friends since 1st grade!
Alli and Quinn

Aren't you glad you'll be living so close to your first boyfriend, Mickey Mouse?

Rocking bunny in your 100 year old rocking chair~ so serious!

These crazy sisters are one of God's best gifts to you!

The mom and dad who love you tons!


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